To the Bells of Berlin Cathedral

There is a story told about Franz Kafka, a known bohemian author who lived from 1883-1924. It goes, something like this:

While strolling through a park in Berlin, Franz Kafka chanced upon a little girl who was crying. When he inquired as to the reason for her distress, she explained that she had lost her doll somewhere in the park and she couldn't find it. Kafka searched for the doll as well, but neither of them were able to locate the lost doll. Kafka then told the little girl that the doll had merely gone on a trip. Kafka promised that if the little girl would return to the park the next day, he would bring her a letter from her doll. That letter stated that the doll had gone on a long trip. She had many things she wanted to see and do. She was sorry she had to leave but promised she he would continue to write letters about her adventures. Kafka continued to deliver letters from the doll for several weeks, arriving each afternoon at the park with a letter for his new friend.

Kafka at that time in his life, was quite ill with tuberculosis and would in fact die within a year, at the age of 41. Kafka was to return to prague before his death, but not before buying his young friend another doll. On his last day in the park, Kafka gave the little girl a new doll and with it came the final letter . The doll described that yes, she looked different, but on her long trip, the doll had seen many wonderful things, had gone through many life changing experiences. All of those travels had transformed the little doll. Not only on the inside, but on the outside as well.

The little girl embraced the doll, happy with tears. Kafka and her parted, never to see each other again. Many years later, the girl, who was now a grown woman, found a note tucked into the dolls clothing and it read:

“Everything you love is very likely to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way.”

This story has existed for nearly as long as Kafka has been gone. It has been neither proven, nor disproven. Kafka had a girlfriend, Dora Diamant, who was from Poland. The couple lived together in Berlin until March 1924, which was the period during which the "doll" episode is purported to have taken place. Dora claimed right up to her own death, that the story was true.

For the purpose of this music, it mattered not to me if it really happened, but in truth, I want to believe that it is a true story. I have always wanted to tell their story with music. As I imagined them both meeting in Stadtpark Steglitz, which is a romantic garden memorial that is located in Berlin's southern district. I imagined their friendship and their walks through the park. I imagined they would have heard the bells of the Berlin Cathedral, which has existed in several different forms since the 15th century. Those bells gave me the musical vehicle I needed to start and end the work with; the music I imagined they both heard.

To the Bells of Berlin Cathedral has several very personal facets to it. It is the first music I have composed after the death of my mother. This music may not have been specifically written for her, but there is no putting a wall up between my feelings of loss and my artistic expressions. It just can't be done. Another facet is, I told this story to my good friend, Bruce Leek. He loved it and it brought tears to his eyes as well as mine. He may have been a little gruff on the outside, but he wasn't on the inside. That was also to be my last conversation with Bruce before he died.

For several months, I could not compose at all. It was just too much. In many ways, it still is.
The beautiful story between an author and a little girl, brought me back to composing. I will never forget the way it felt, composing these notes. And just like the little girl, I too learned that:

“Everything you love is very likely to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way.”

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